4 Great Books for 4th of July – Confessions of a Military Wife

On the final day of the 4 Great Books Giveaway, I’m happy to share a guest post from Marine Corps spouse, Mollie Gross, sassy military wife comedienne and author of Confessions of a Military Wife. You can read Mollie’s take on military life in her monthly column for Military Spouse magazine, too.

Mollie’s ability to see the humorous side of stressful situations reminds other military spouses of this profound truth:

You bring your own weather to the picnic.

This statement rings true for me every day as a military spouse. And especially on the 4th of July.

In her guest post below Mollie shares personal memories of her grandmother, a military spouse in The Greatest Generation. I hope it reminds us all of the long, strong line of military spouses who served before us, and inspires us to support other spouses as they learn to love this military lifestyle. After all, we’re in it together.

My future husband and I had only been dating for six months when he got orders to the West Coast. We wanted to be together, so we told our families and eloped the next weekend. Instantly I was a part of an entirely new military culture and had no idea what I had gotten myself into. Immediately after the “I do,” Jon started telling me what I needed to take care of before our PCS in three months (what did that mean?). He also started referring to me as his dependent (hello: it’s the new millennium, I am no one’s dependent!).

Adding even further to my confusion, he informed me that I needed to get my military ID, change my name, and sign up for Tricare. I was a little lost but did not want to give the impression that I could not hack this new lifestyle. I kept my mouth shut and smiled sweetly like the blushing bride I was. After our one-day honeymoon, I waved goodbye to my new hubby as he drove back to Quantico where he was currently stationed (three states away). I needed some serious advice and guidance, and I needed it now!

I was not near a military base and my new husband was going to be off running around in the woods right up until we moved. It seemed I was really on my own with this one. I then realized I knew the perfect person to help prepare me for my new role as a Military Wife Extraordinaire.

Grandma Ruby, my mother’s mother, had been a military wife for more than 25 years. The similarities between Grandma and I don’t end with our attraction for men in uniform. We both are sassy, outspoken, and strive to be the center of attention. My husband jokes that I learned the art of manipulation from her. I have to admit that it has been a handy skill, especially when you are married to a bull-headed grunt.

She met her husband at an oyster roast, and I met mine at a fish fry. She “eloped” herself with my grandfather as he geared up years ago to deploy to WWII with the “Army Air Corps” (it was not even the Air Force back then). Throughout her long career as a military wife, she lived all over the world and had seven children all while Granddad served in WWII and Korea. Although I knew nothing about the military, I had grown up seeing Granddaddy’s old military pictures and mementos. Their entire home was filled with collectibles from all points of the globe, and I remember laughing at my Grandma’s old ball pictures because she was pregnant in all of them. I decided to make a special pilgrimage to see her.

My relationship with Grandma Ruby grew stronger during my weekly visits as she helped guide me through the beginning steps of being a military wife. She rode with me to get my military ID, and explained the importance of assertiveness when it comes to dealing with Tricare healthcare. She said, “Mollie, don’t be fooled; they don’t really try and they don’t really care.” I replied that I must have gotten my flair for the dramatics from her as well. She countered with a story about when she had to get firm with an on-base hospital.

She was living in Germany and had four children at the time. She was suffering from an earache, and called my Granddad to watch the kids during lunch so she could go to the doctor. He came home and they made the swap. Grandma only had a short time to get to the doctor’s office and back. Once there, she informed the clerk at the desk that she was there to be seen for an earache, to which he replied, “I am sorry Ms. Ruby, but the doctor only sees pregnant women today.” She quickly retorted, “Well if that is the case, I’ll be happy to run home and get pregnant real quick, but I would prefer we skip it and just get my ear looked at now, thank you.” Thank goodness the doctor overheard the commotion and was very familiar with my grandma and her children. He agreed to see her right away.

The few months that Jon and I were married but living apart were a difficult time, but I really treasured the weekends I spent with my Grandma. I will always cherish my special talks with her. I think she enjoyed reliving her military life memories with me as well. In the coming years, I reached out to her many times when Jon was deployed. She was my rock, having lived through many deployments with Granddad. My grandma has more than 26 grandchildren, and with a family that big, it can be hard to get face time with anyone. I will always consider myself blessed to have such a unique relationship with such a wonderful lady. I learned that we shared so much more than just our common sassy nature—we also shared strength.

Now it’s your turn. Comment below to enter Day 4 if the 4 Great Books giveaway. Please share one person who has inspired and/or supported you as a military spouse.

And while you’re at it, it’s not too late to comment on Days 1, 2 and 3 of the giveaway (which gives you four chances to win, instead of just one). Here are the links: Day 1 (1001 Things to Love About Military Life) or Day 2 (Countdown ’til Daddy Comes Home), or Day 3 (Detachment Parenting)  Please share the giveaway links with your military spouse friends. I’ll be choosing a winner on July 5th for all 4 great books.

Wishing you and yours a very festive fourth! Heidi