Build Your Emotion Vocabulary

If you read this blog regularly, you know I’m a big believe in the power of emotion labeling. A person who says “I’m feeling really nervous about this audition” is in a much better position to cope with performance anxiety than a person who stands on stage behind the curtain wringing her hands and pacing while she mentally practices her piece. I call this taking the high road, because studies show activity in the higher, rational parts of the brain increase when we describe our emotions with words.

When I talk to parents about emotion labeling, I remind them that emotion vocabulary isn’t automatic. We have to teach kids nuanced words to describe their feelings if we want to build their self-awareness.

The easiest labels are global ones, like good and bad. Or happy and sad. Parents often use these words with young children who have limited verbal skills. But sometimes we fail to use stronger, more specific emotion words as kids’ abilities increase. We get stuck in the habit of saying “It seems like you feel bad about what happened” when a more accurate statement might be “It seems like you are disappointed in your grade.”

To put yourself in a solid position to act on your emotions, you need specific emotion labels. So do your kids. So today I’m sharing my list of emotion-related vocabulary words you can use when good/bad, happy and sad just aren’t enough. Here it is!

Joyful	Tenderness	Helpless	Defeated	Rageful
Cheerful	Sympathy	Powerless	Bored	Outraged
Content	Adoration	Dreading	Rejected	Hostile
Proud	Fondness	Distrusting	Disillusioned	Bitter
Satisfied	Receptive	Suspicious	Inferior	Hateful
Excited	Interested	Cautious	Confused	Scornful
Amused	Delighted	Disturbed	Grief-stricken	Spiteful
Elated	Shocked	Overwhelmed	Helpless	Vengeful
Enthusiastic	Exhilarated	Uncomfortable	Isolated	Disliked
Optimistic	Dismayed	Guilty	Numb	Resentful
Elated	Amazed	Hurt	Regretful	Trusting
Delighted	Confused	Lonely	Ambivalent	Alienated
Calm	Stunned	Melancholy	Exhausted	Bitter
Relaxed	Interested	Depressed	Insecure	Insulted
Relieved	Intrigued	Hopeless	Disgusted	Indifferent
Hopeful	Absorbed	Sad	Pity	Afraid
Pleased	Curious	Guilty	Revulsion	Nervous
Confident	Anticipating	Hurt	Contempt	Uncomfortable
Brave	Eager	Lonely	Weary	Edgy
Comfortable	Hesitant	Regretful	Bored	Exasperated
Safe	Fearful	Depressed	Preoccupied	Disoriented
Happy	Anxious	Hopeless	Angry	Nervous
Love	Worried	Sorrow	Jealous	Disgraced
Lust	Scared	Uncertain	Envious	Uneasy
Aroused	Insecure	Anguished	Annoyed	Awkward
Tender	Rejected	Disappointed	Frustrated	Neglected
Compassionate	Horrified	Self-conscious	Irritated	Disoriented
Caring	Alarmed	Ashamed	Aggravated
Infatuated	Shocked	Embarrassed	Restless
Concerned	Panicked	Humiliated	Grumpy

Still eager for more emotion words? Check out this list.

2 Responses to Build Your Emotion Vocabulary

Sue says:

October 17, 2013 at 1:20 am

Timely. My 12 year old was “mad” that a friend could not come over as planned. We discussed that maybe frustrated and disappointed were better descriptors.

- Heidi Smith Luedtke says:
  
  October 20, 2013 at 10:18 pm
  
  Reframing “mad” to mean “frustrated” and “disappointed” is perfect. It turns the focus away from being mad AT someone else, and helps your child focus on his/her own feelings and (more importantly) how to respond to them. The challenge always lies in moving past the feelings to do something about those feelings. (Maybe putting a new date with the friend on the calendar, for example) Good job!

Build Your Emotion Vocabulary

2 Responses to Build Your Emotion Vocabulary

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