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The Psychologist Next Door | Heidi Smith Luedtke
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Grateful for Seasonal Friendships: A Guest Post by Christa Melnyk Hines, author of Confidently Connected

Last week I kicked off the Mom-to-Mom Gratitude Gala and Giveaway with Lara Krupicka’s post about being grateful for disappointments. This week my writer friend and colleague Christa Melnyk Hines — author of Confidently Connected: A Mom’s Guide to a Satisfying Social Life — is here to share her gratitude for seasonal friendships. This topic is near and dear to my heart because — as a highly-mobile military family — we make new friends in each place we live, knowing we can’t take them all with us when we go. Christa captures the blessing of these fluid friendships in her description below. I hope her post reminds you of your good friends from season’s past. It brought to mind several of mine (I’m going to list them in the comments! I hope you’ll do the same.)

Mom2MomGratitudeHere’s Christa’s story:

Soon after my family moved to Kansas City, I enrolled my 2-year-old in a weekly Mom’s Day Out program. I hoped the program would help with his separation anxiety and give him a chance to be around other kids his age. What I didn’t realize was how good the program would be for me as I struggled to parent in a social network void.

As we settled into the routine of a weekly drop-off and pick-up, my son’s anxiety began to calm, and I relaxed enough to chit-chat with another mom. Beth was friendly in a quiet, calm and self-assured way.
I confessed that Nolan seemed to be recovering from his initial anxiety of me leaving him. She confided that her daughter had comforted him saying, “Don’t worry, Nolan. Your mom will come and get you. My mom always comes back!”

We giggled about how sweet her little girl was to say that to my son. No wonder he liked to play with her!

We soon realized how much we had in common. Over time, we began getting our kids together to play at each others’ houses and the park.

I felt like I struck gold by finding a friend who I could talk about books with and discuss child-rearing worries; laugh with about our kids’ funny antics and commiserate about how challenging life married to a road warrior could be while mothering moody toddlers.

Once our kids entered kindergarten at different schools, we started to grow apart. We’d plan get-togethers at parks with our kids occasionally. But soon, we were swept up with separate commitments, school and extracurricular activities. Our now school-age children had less in common and between our busy schedules we rarely saw each other.

Then, she and her family moved several states away.

Friends who come into our lives even for only a few seasons are essential and just as meaningful as our more evergreen friendships. They teach us not to take any friendship for granted. After all, who’s to say how long a friendship will last?

Circumstances change. Lives evolve. People move or simply move on. I’m grateful that she was there, someone I could relate to and be myself with as I picked my way around my new community. Her friendship, sense of humor and consideration were gifts during a time when I lacked an extensive support system, vital when my self-confidence was shaky and indispensable during my kids’ turbulent toddler years.

Beth is back to working full-time, and I’ve grown busy with my writing. Other than an occasional Facebook exchange, we rarely talk to each other anymore. Nevertheless, if I was to pick up the phone and call her, I’m certain it would feel like we had never missed a beat.

And for that, I’m forever grateful.

Are you grateful for your seasonal friendships? Whose temporary presence made a big difference in your life?

Remember: This post is part of the GIVEAWAY! That means you can comment on this post and count it toward your entry points using the rafflecopter widget here. Repeat tweets also earn extra entries. Now what are you waiting for? Let’s get grateful.

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Unexpectedly Thankful: A Guest Post by Lara Krupicka, Family Bucket List Guru

Today we’re kicking off the Mom-to-Mom Gratitude Gala and Giveaway with the first in a series of guest posts on the topic of gratitude. My mom-writer friend and colleague, Lara Krupicka — author of the awesome ebook, Family Bucket Lists — is here to share her thoughts on letting kids dream their own dreams. And[read more]

Announcing the Mom to Mom Gratitude Gala and Giveaway

November is a month when we celebrate all the good things we’ve been blessed with.  My top three: a loving family, good health, and opportunities to learn and grow. During this month of Thanksgiving, I encourage you to find daily ways to recognize the abundant goodness in your life. I share 25 ideas for practicing[read more]

Build Your Emotion Vocabulary

Build Your Emotion Vocabulary

If you read this blog regularly, you know I’m a big believe in the power of emotion labeling. A person who says “I’m feeling really nervous about this audition” is in a much better position to cope with performance anxiety than a person who stands on stage behind the curtain wringing her hands and pacing[read more]

Should Parents Hide Emotions From Kids?

Should Parents Hide Emotions From Kids?

It seems like our families can’t get away from intense emotional situations, even if things at home are mostly routine. This week we’re bombarded by powerful images of the floods in Colorado and people fleeing from the Washington Navy Yard in the wake of a rampage shooting that killed 13 people. Tragedies like these can[read more]

Back to School Paperwork Overwhelming? Try a Zone Defense

Back to School Paperwork Overwhelming? Try a Zone Defense

School starts tomorrow and already I am buried under a pile of paperwork. There are notes about school rules, class policies, and after-school programs. And in 24 hours I’ll be sorting through another stack of information in my son’s so-called “Tuesday Folder.” Before I get overwhelmed, I’m putting a filing system in place to deal[read more]

What’s Wrong with Attachment Parenting? Maybe nothing.

As the author of Detachment Parenting, I’m often asked “What’s wrong with attachment parenting?” because people assume detachment parenting must be the opposite of attachment parenting. But it’s not. At least not as I use the term Detachment Parenting. Actually, the techniques I describe for keeping your cool when kids melt down could be especially[read more]

4 Great Books for the 4th of July Giveaway: We have a winner!

4 Great Books for the 4th of July Giveaway: We have a winner!

Drum roll, please! I’m happy to announce that Sarah Dines is the winner of this week’s 4 Great Books for the 4th of July Giveaway. Here are three things Sarah loves about military life: “One thing I love about military life is how being far away from your family really makes you appreciate the time[read more]

4 Great Books for 4th of July – Confessions of a Military Wife

4 Great Books for 4th of July – Confessions of a Military Wife

On the final day of the 4 Great Books Giveaway, I’m happy to share a guest post from Marine Corps spouse, Mollie Gross, sassy military wife comedienne and author of Confessions of a Military Wife. You can read Mollie’s take on military life in her monthly column for Military Spouse magazine, too. Mollie’s ability to[read more]

4 Great Books for 4th of July — Detachment Parenting

4 Great Books for 4th of July — Detachment Parenting

Although I didn’t write Detachment Parenting specifically for military moms and dads, I’m sure my experience as a sometimes solo-parent was a big reason I wrote the book to begin with. Let’s face it: parenting young children is physically and emotionally demanding. Trying to keep it all together while your partner is half way around[read more]


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