Want Better Relationships? Stow Your Cell Phone

I’m always astounded by the number of people who spend their time looking at their mobile phones instead of their social companions.  It’s not uncommon to see a family of four seated in a restaurant, staring at four different electronic devices. So much for quality time!

A new study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships suggests cell phones interfere with social connectedness and conversation quality just by their mere presence. You read that right: Even if you aren’t actively checking your email, taking calls, or posting a food-pic to your Facebook profile, setting your cell phone on the table changes the social scene.

Study participants were asked to talk with another person for 10 minutes about “an interesting event that occurred to you over the past month.” For half of the participants, the conversation took place with a mobile phone on a nearby table, in plain view. For the other half, the mobile phone was replaced by a small notebook.

Afterwards, each person answered questions about their feelings about their conversation partner. Participants who could see a mobile phone were less likely to agree that “It is likely that my partner and I could become friends if we interacted a lot” and they reported feeling less closeness with their conversational partner.

In a follow up study, some participants chatted with their partners about everyday events while others were asked to talk about “the most meaningful events of the past year.” Those who talked about meaningful events felt closer to their conversation partners, but only if they sat near the notebook. Participants who sat near a visible cell phone didn’t get an intimacy boost even though they shared meaningful personal information!

It’s not clear why the mere presence of a cell phone disrupts social connection. Maybe cell phones create an automatic distraction. Maybe they prompt people to think about their larger social networks instead of the person right in front of them. Maybe the presence of a cell phone makes us feel like our social companions are not fully present or engaged. No one knows for sure.

One thing is clear: if you want to get to know someone on a deeper level, it’s best to leave your cell phone in your pocket. Simply seeing it is enough to interfere with conversation, bonding and intimacy.

Image © Obak | Stock Free Images & Dreamstime Stock Photos