I’m the Worstest Mom Ever!

Forget about that Dad in England who got oodles of media attention for the tough-love letter his adult child leaked to the press recently. I won a parenting award this week. Well, actually two awards.

My son, Carson, gave me the coveted titles of “Meanest Mom Ever” and – when he still didn’t get what he wanted – “Worstest Mom Ever.” Nice, right?

I get it. I really do. People don’t like it when other people make decisions that thwart their goals and dash their dreams. Not kids. And not adults.

But – in my own defense – I must say I don’t rule this house with an iron fist. Most of the time I’m not sure I’m in charge at all. I’m just doing the best I can to maintain my family’s health and safety. And preserve my own sanity. And setting limits helps me do all of those things.

“What did you say to win these awards?” you ask. Well. Let me tell you.

I said “No” to candy for breakfast and “No” to playing hookie from school so he could watch hunting shows on television. (I know, I know. I’m a dictator.)

The challenge with setting limits as a parent is that it requires a long term view, and kids are usually focused on short-term consequences. We don’t eat candy for breakfast because too much sugar is bad for our bodies. And one candy breakfast isn’t the issue. Today’s behavior sets the stage for a sugary breakfast habit I don’t want my kids to learn. So I say “No” now and accept the worstest-mom award in hopes that someday my kids see the value in healthy eating.

Ahem.

The hookie issue was a little bit harder to handle because I recently let the kids skip school for a couple of days while their Grandma was visiting from out of town. As a military family, we don’t get lots of chances to spend time with extended family and I wanted them to have special days with Grandma. But exceptions can be confusing.

Convinced that grown-ups get to play hookie while kids are forced to attend school, Carson asked additional questions. I explained that – because I am my own boss – I get to work whenever I want. And technically I could take the day off any time I please. But my work doesn’t get done if I sit around watching TV all day. And no one else is going to come to my office and finish writing my articles while I am out playing hookie. So I would have to work all night or miss out on weekend trips to the aquarium to get caught up.

And then he got it. Cue the little light bulb that pops up above a cartoon character’s head:

We say “No” to some things we want so that we can say “Yes” to other things we want even more.

Ultimately, Carson agreed to go to school since I would be working anyway. And he invited me to come and have lunch with him in the cafeteria. “Deal,” I said. I brought my sandwich and ate it sitting next to him while we talked about what he did in the computer lab that morning. I’d say that’s a pretty good prize for being “The Worstest Mom Ever.” Wouldn’t you?

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Image Credit: Nutdanai Apikhomboonwaroot