Does Detachment Parenting Stifle Self-Expression?

My writing colleague and mentor, Christina Katz, is hosting a month-long giveaway of books written by women authors. Today, I’m happy to be the featured author. I am giving three copies of Detachment Parenting to three lucky winners. Hop by her site to read a quick interview I did with her on the topic of self-expression and count your blessings in the comments to win.

In my interview with Christina, I answered three questions about self-expression. And it got me thinking about the relationship between detachment parenting and self-expression.

It might seem like detachment parenting would stifle self-expression. After all, I’m suggesting parents count to 100 before reacting, then use fewer words in the heat of the moment. I’m suggesting we hold our tongues more often than we otherwise might.

But my experience using detachment parenting strategies is that my self-expression to my children is much deeper and more meaningful than it was before.

When I calm down before responding, I am able to think more clearly about what I want to say so I end up expressing my best intentions and my real, deeply held beliefs rather than fleeting feelings of frustration or disappointment.

When I use fewer words in my conversations with my kids, I choose them more carefully and I listen more fully. I make room for their self-expression in the midst of the swirl of emotions.

As I share my own stories with my kids, I am reassured that they get to see me as a real person, with hurts and foibles.

Detachment Parenting has helped me move from frustrated bursts of self-expression to thoughtful, self-expressive conversations with my kids. And that’s intensely gratifying.

And at the end of the day when we count our blessings in the 3 good things game,  my kids see that we can always choose to look on the bright side, no matter how bad things get. Self-expressions of hope are some of the most powerful gifts we give our children.

So what are you waiting for? Count your blessings and share them today.