Stages of Motherhood: Take a Look on the Light Side

In my article, Grow with the Flow (How to Thrive at Each Stage of Motherhood), I interviewed moms about their biggest challenges and joys at their current stage of parenting. The article appears in several regional parenting magazines this month, including Atlanta Parent. You can read it here.

Of course, I gave each stage a humorous title in the article. There are creative reasons for this, but there is also something that rings true in each one. I keenly recall the “can’t see the forest for the laundry” stage (and I am not sure it ends until the kids go to college!)

If you’ve never tried to name your current stage of parenting, let me tell you: It can be uplifting to look at your present parenting situation in a silly way. Put simply, it reminds us as parents that our current experiences will not last forever. The kids will grow up and move on to other challenges. They will make their marks on the world, and on us. And we’ll be better for it.

I’d call my current stage of motherhood the “tight-rope walker with a precarious pile of dirty dishes stage.” I am always trying to keep my balance. I ask myself whether both kids are getting enough of my time and attention, or whether I’m leaning too much toward one of them. I wonder whether I’m doing too much for them or not enough. I want them to be independent and I feel the fleetingness of time more keenly than ever before.

I want to devote care and attention to my own health and to my marriage. And it stings when I’m too tired at the end of the day to have a grown-up conversation with my husband.

I sometimes feel uneasy about the balance I strike between work and family. I try stay calm and focused. But there’s no escape from the ever-growing household to-do list. Or the articles I want (need?) to write.

But — under any good circus act — there is a safety net. And that safety net is my sure knowledge that I can grow with this stage of motherhood and emerge more insightful, more compassionate, and more focused on giving my children, my partner and myself permission to learn and grow in the next stage of life. Parenting is truly the greatest show on earth. Pass the popcorn and let’s watch what happens.

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