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Cognitive Psychology | Heidi Smith Luedtke
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Category Archives: Cognitive Psychology

Build Your Emotion Vocabulary

By Heidi Smith Luedtke on September 23, 2013
Categories: Brain and bioscience, Children and emotions, Cognitive Psychology, Coping skills for kids, Coping skills for moms

If you read this blog regularly, you know I’m a big believe in the power of emotion labeling. A person who says “I’m feeling really nervous about this audition” is in a much better position to cope with performance anxiety than a person who stands on stage behind the curtain wringing her hands and pacing… [read more]

Bra is Good

By Heidi Smith Luedtke on January 21, 2013
Categories: Cognitive Psychology, Education

When you’re learning a foreign language, it helps to use tricks to remember the details. Mnemonic devices are mental strategies that connect new facts with previous learning so they get hooked into your memory system instead of floating around in your brain untethered. These connections make it easier to retrieve information by giving us cognitive… [read more]

How to Tend to Your Own Emotions

By Heidi Smith Luedtke on December 17, 2012
Categories: Cognitive Psychology, Detachment, Emotion, Parenting, self-awareness, Self-Care, Stress and Coping, Uncategorized

In the wake of last week’s tragic shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School, I feel a need to shift gears. My planned posts on gift-related rivalry and holiday family dynamics seem unimportant. Even disrespectful. It’s simply not possible to act as if nothing has happened. Raw sadness and anxiety bubble right below the surface. I’m… [read more]

10 Things I Know Right Now

By Heidi Smith Luedtke on November 16, 2012
Categories: Beliefs, Books, Detachment Parenting, Emotion, Parenting, self-awareness

My latest article, entitled “little know-it-alls,” came out yesterday in the December issue of Parents magazine. The idea for this piece came from a real-life Mommy moment, when I questioned my son Carson’s discovery of a “shark pod” on the Jersey Shore. If you read the article – go ahead and click over there, I’ll… [read more]

The Parenting Time Warp: Counting the Days Until My Half-Birthday

By Heidi Smith Luedtke on November 1, 2012
Categories: Cognitive Psychology, mindfulness, Parenting, Uncategorized

As I made the rounds tick-or-treating with my kids last night, I was reminded of how different their time perspective is from mine. Neighbors asked each child “How old are you?” and both replied with precision: Scooby proudly said “Two and a half!” and her knight-in-shining armor added “And I’m five and a half!” No… [read more]

Why We Should Tell Kids Learning is Difficult

By Heidi Smith Luedtke on October 19, 2012
Categories: Beliefs, Education, Motivation, Psychology Research, Self-confidence

Every parent wants to boost their child’s sense of optimism and self-confidence. But statements like “You’re so smart!” or “These problems are easy” might inadvertently undermine kids’ academic achievement. That’s because these phrases send the message that ability is fixed (you either have it or you don’t) and success should be effortless. A recent study… [read more]

The Upside of Emotional Contagion

By Heidi Smith Luedtke on September 24, 2012
Categories: Cognitive Psychology, Emotion, Happiness 101, Relationships, Social Psychology, Stress and Coping

Have you ever felt the rush of anxiety in your own body when you watched your child take center stage? Or maybe you waited in line behind a disgruntled customer at the checkout and felt twinges of frustration take root and grow as you watched? Elaine Hatfield, John Cacioppo and Richard Rapson first used the… [read more]

Rewrite your Story

By Heidi Smith Luedtke on September 5, 2012
Categories: Beliefs, Cognitive Psychology, Emotion, Self-development

Some life events are so overwhelming that we simply get lost in a sea of emotions. A person who is fired from her job after years of positive performance reviews may feel angry, resentful and betrayed by her former supervisor. She may believe she was targeted by colleagues who were threatened by her abilities or… [read more]

See Your Self-Portrait

By Heidi Smith Luedtke on April 10, 2012
Categories: Beliefs, Personality, Self and identity, Self-development

If you painted a self-portrait, how would it look? Would you have tired eyes? An alluring smile? Too much junk in the trunk? Would you look fearful or brave? Lonely or eager? Frazzled or calm? Content or frustrated? Sad or satisfied? Happy? Excited? Overjoyed? Would your arms be open and relaxed, or crossed in front… [read more]

Want Change? Choose Action, Not Reflection

By Heidi Smith Luedtke on February 13, 2012
Categories: Cognitive Psychology, Emotion, Goals, Self-development

As a trained scientist, I engage in a lot of cause and effect thinking. Once we identify a cause, we can fix things. Right? Maybe. Some of you know that my grandmother recently learned she has cancer. After several scans, three biopsies and many, many doctor’s appointments, we found out her cancer is of “unknown… [read more]

Do you wish you were a calm, cool and kid-focused parent? Now you can be.
What People Are Saying

Detachment Parenting is a terrific, go-to guide for those difficult moments in parenting. Dr. Luedtke's warm voice and user-friendly format make this book a pleasure to read. ---Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., author of The Dance of Anger and Marriage Rules: A Manual for the Married and the Coupled Up.
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Detachment Parenting is an excellent guide for busy parents. Broken down into easy-to-navigate sections, Heidi provides solutions to everyday problems that can help you step back, compose yourself, communicate more effectively and find peaceful solutions with your children in even the most difficult moments. As a mother of 3, I found this book to be practical, relevant and encouraging. My favorite tip is #27, Make Me Time and Space. Read it and find your favorite tip too. You’ll be glad you did! —April O’Leary, Life Coach, Author and Founder of UofMoms.com

Finally, a parenting e-book that tells us what to do and how to do it! As a parent…you are your child’s coping instructor. Unfortunately, when children spin out of control, parents often become reactive as opposed to proactive. Detachment Parenting gives parents concrete and creative strategies on how to respond in a productive, teaching way. This easy-to-use book is a must have for all who are faced with the most demanding profession on the planet…PARENTING! — Julia Cook, M.S., National Award Winning Children’s Author/Parenting Expert

As the mother of a 2-year-old, and a self-described “attachment parenting mom,” I found Heidi Luedke’s book, Detachment Parenting, to be an excellent source of realistic strategies to help me be the mom I want to be. The book easy to read and full of practical ideas I will use in my everyday life. For example, Detachment Parenting taught me what to do when I feel myself getting upset, and how to interact with my son when he is upset (including how to really listen to him and help him understand, label, and work through his feelings). This is a book I will come back to again and again! —Colleen Ament Rasey, mom of one very busy toddler

Psychologist and mom Heidi Luedtke has created an essential primer for parents of young kids. In this highly readable, to-the-point book, she helps parents learn to step out of frustrating meltdown-minefields by avoiding toxic emotional contagion, guiding kids toward emotion regulation, and building stronger, happier parent-child bonds. Each of her 33 tactics is thoroughly, expertly explained and easy to implement. You’ll wish you read it sooner! —Malia Jacobson, health journalist, mom of two, and author of Ready, Set, Sleep

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