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Relationships | Heidi Smith Luedtke
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Category Archives: Relationships

The Parenting Time Warp: Counting the Days Until My Half-Birthday

By Heidi Smith Luedtke on November 1, 2012
Categories: Cognitive Psychology, mindfulness, Parenting, Uncategorized

As I made the rounds tick-or-treating with my kids last night, I was reminded of how different their time perspective is from mine. Neighbors asked each child “How old are you?” and both replied with precision: Scooby proudly said “Two and a half!” and her knight-in-shining armor added “And I’m five and a half!” No… [read more]

No Mom is an Island

By Heidi Smith Luedtke on October 26, 2012
Categories: Friendship, Parenting, People Skills, Relationships, Self-Care, Stress and Coping, Uncategorized

It’s a bit of a paradox: Moms of young children seldom get any alone time. And yet — for many women — this stage of life feels lonely. Moms who stay home with young kids miss out on the friendships they had in the workplace. There’s no one around to commiserate when the kids are… [read more]

Why Grown-Ups Should Act Silly More Often

By Heidi Smith Luedtke on October 23, 2012
Categories: Emotion, Happiness 101, Parenting, Stress and Coping

One of the gifts young children give their parents is an endless supply of silly behavior. My daughter wears underwear on her head. And not just her own. My son shakes his booty when he dances, and acts like a backseat DJ when a thumping song comes on the radio, moving one hand like he’s… [read more]

Want Better Relationships? Stow Your Cell Phone

By Heidi Smith Luedtke on October 8, 2012
Categories: People Skills, Psychology Research, Relationships

I’m always astounded by the number of people who spend their time looking at their mobile phones instead of their social companions. It’s not uncommon to see a family of four seated in a restaurant, staring at four different electronic devices. So much for quality time! A new study published in the Journal of Social… [read more]

Do You Hear Me Now?

By Heidi Smith Luedtke on October 1, 2012
Categories: Parenting, People Skills, Relationships

If I had a dollar for every time I wondered (or asked) why my kids don’t listen, I could have a $30,000 shoe collection like the woman featured in this TODAY show story on shopping addiction. Getting kids to tune in can be challenging, especially in our highly distracting digital age. Half the times I… [read more]

The Upside of Emotional Contagion

By Heidi Smith Luedtke on September 24, 2012
Categories: Cognitive Psychology, Emotion, Happiness 101, Relationships, Social Psychology, Stress and Coping

Have you ever felt the rush of anxiety in your own body when you watched your child take center stage? Or maybe you waited in line behind a disgruntled customer at the checkout and felt twinges of frustration take root and grow as you watched? Elaine Hatfield, John Cacioppo and Richard Rapson first used the… [read more]

Courage Roars Quietly — How to Give Negative Feedback

By Heidi Smith Luedtke on September 21, 2012
Categories: Emotion, People Skills, Relationships, Stress and Coping

Yesterday, I did something really difficult. It took courage and composure – and I was running low on both. My heart was pounding, my pulse was racing, and I was already in tears. But I did it anyway. I gave my doctor a big dose of negative feedback. Out loud and in person. And it… [read more]

Four No-Cost Uplifts to Give Today

By Heidi Smith Luedtke on September 19, 2012
Categories: Books, Emotion, Friendship, Happiness 101, Health Research, Parenting, People Skills, Psychology Research, Relationships, Stress and Coping

These days we spend a lot of time complaining about how little time we have. And many of us struggle to make family and friends a priority because there are always more tasks on the to-do list. Last week, I encouraged you to give yourself daily uplifts. Today, I want you to give mood-boosting treats… [read more]

Small Stressors Add Up

By Heidi Smith Luedtke on September 13, 2012
Categories: Daily Hassles, Emotion, Psychology Research, Relationships, Self-Care, Stress and Coping

You’ve probably heard you shouldn’t sweat the small stuff (and that it’s all small stuff). The authors of the sweet little book with this title have surely made truckloads of money helping us all get perspective on our problems. At the risk of sounding alarmist, I say maybe you should sweat the small stuff. Here’s… [read more]

Where is Your BandWagon?

By Heidi Smith Luedtke on November 17, 2011
Categories: Goals, Motivation, People Skills, Work

While preparing for an interview with intrigue expert Sam Horn, a Washington, D.C.-based communication consultant, I read a statement that struck me with such force and created such clarity that I just had to share it with you. It said: “People can’t jump on your bandwagon if it’s in the garage.” Whether you’re planning… [read more]

Do you wish you were a calm, cool and kid-focused parent? Now you can be.
What People Are Saying

Detachment Parenting is a terrific, go-to guide for those difficult moments in parenting. Dr. Luedtke's warm voice and user-friendly format make this book a pleasure to read. ---Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., author of The Dance of Anger and Marriage Rules: A Manual for the Married and the Coupled Up.
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Detachment Parenting is an excellent guide for busy parents. Broken down into easy-to-navigate sections, Heidi provides solutions to everyday problems that can help you step back, compose yourself, communicate more effectively and find peaceful solutions with your children in even the most difficult moments. As a mother of 3, I found this book to be practical, relevant and encouraging. My favorite tip is #27, Make Me Time and Space. Read it and find your favorite tip too. You’ll be glad you did! —April O’Leary, Life Coach, Author and Founder of UofMoms.com

Finally, a parenting e-book that tells us what to do and how to do it! As a parent…you are your child’s coping instructor. Unfortunately, when children spin out of control, parents often become reactive as opposed to proactive. Detachment Parenting gives parents concrete and creative strategies on how to respond in a productive, teaching way. This easy-to-use book is a must have for all who are faced with the most demanding profession on the planet…PARENTING! — Julia Cook, M.S., National Award Winning Children’s Author/Parenting Expert

As the mother of a 2-year-old, and a self-described “attachment parenting mom,” I found Heidi Luedke’s book, Detachment Parenting, to be an excellent source of realistic strategies to help me be the mom I want to be. The book easy to read and full of practical ideas I will use in my everyday life. For example, Detachment Parenting taught me what to do when I feel myself getting upset, and how to interact with my son when he is upset (including how to really listen to him and help him understand, label, and work through his feelings). This is a book I will come back to again and again! —Colleen Ament Rasey, mom of one very busy toddler

Psychologist and mom Heidi Luedtke has created an essential primer for parents of young kids. In this highly readable, to-the-point book, she helps parents learn to step out of frustrating meltdown-minefields by avoiding toxic emotional contagion, guiding kids toward emotion regulation, and building stronger, happier parent-child bonds. Each of her 33 tactics is thoroughly, expertly explained and easy to implement. You’ll wish you read it sooner! —Malia Jacobson, health journalist, mom of two, and author of Ready, Set, Sleep